Sunday, 24 February 2019

Gallbladder Surgery

Day 17 post operation.

I woke up feeling bored, which is a good sign. I want to go down the beach. But I'm not going to risk it just yet. I will go for a little walk later.

Yesterday I managed to load the washing machine, wash my hair and do more things.

I'm still sleeping on my back. The vivid dreams are exhausting. I do not like dreaming of people who are no longer in my life. I think I could sleep on my side, I'm just worried. The fear of splitting my belly button wound is overwhelming.

Still getting tingling / discomfort down my right side. It feels like my muscles have been pulled about. If it hasn't gone by Thursday I am going to see my doctor. I don't have any surgery follow up appointments, which feels scary.

I've lost a stone in weight since the surgery.

I think something in my brain has changed. Adjusted. I feel like I'm inside a body I don't recognise and feel like I want to climb out of it. I can't explain it. I've never hated my body before. This feeling is new. I don't know if it's a reaction to being so ill for the last 2 years. Maybe I just feel run down and broken.

I don't like it. I am going to change it. I can't ignore how I feel.

My wounds are healing, one scab came off, so I think I'll have a dent in one of the scars. I put a dressing over it because the skin separated a bit.

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