Friday, 1 February 2019

I should be easier on myself.

I need to stop giving myself a hard time for not getting much work done at the moment. I need to keep reminding myself that I am ill.

I've not done anything at all today. And I'm starting to worry about my recovery. Yeah. I'm thinking of random stuff to worry about.

I'm right handed and my gallbladder is on my right side. If I sit at my desk to long or move my arm too much I cause all kinds of shooting pains which I either carry on regardless. Or stop for the day.

I've got use to ignoring my pain and ignoring the warning signs of a flare up.

My recovery plan it says I'm not allowed to lift anything heavy for two weeks, they class a kettle of water as heavy lifting. So my irrational worry right now is, how much am I going to be able to do for the two weeks. Will I be able to sit at my desk and do arty things or will that irritate my surgery wounds?

And I'm worried that'll I'll just ignore any pain and not pick up on warning pains.

I've been so excited and looking forward to getting this gallbladder out, then I think part of me has been thinking, I will get home and be perfectly ok, maybe a bit sore.

So anyway... I probably make no sense right now. Feel like I'm in a haze of emotions.

I'm trying to have enough blog posts scheduled so I don't miss any posts..... so the order they are published in aren't the date I've written them on. If that makes sense. This is another self imposed silly worry !

Why do we do this to ourselves.

Oh I've been having the spasm pains again today, just have to keep telling myself, it is not a heart attack!

Maybe my disgestion system is just really shot to bits.......

I've got so much I want to be getting on with..... but I just can't get anything done.


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